Will my autistic child ever speak?

When my son was a toddler, I was told that if he didn’t start speaking by the age of seven, he never would. Looking back, what a load of rubbish! In fact, my son said his first word just before his eighth birthday—and by the time he was 16, he was speaking in full sentences.

But let me tell you, the journey wasn’t without its challenges.

The “helpful” strategies

We worked with a Speech and Language Therapist who suggested a technique where I moved my son’s favourite items out of reach but still within sight. The idea was simple: he’d be motivated to communicate to get what he wanted.

Sounds great, right? Well, it didn’t exactly go as planned. Instead of motivating him, this strategy made him anxious and prone to meltdowns. And, instead of asking me for help, he got creative—building ladders to reach the items!

The next strategy was to use picture boards. We’d exchange pictures of desired items for the real thing. That worked… for about five minutes, until he figured out how to “post” the pictures into the gap between the cooker and the end of the worktop. Lost in the abyss, never to be retrieved (because who the heck ever pulls out their cooker?!).

What was I really teaching him?

I attended so many training sessions, read several books, and met with professionals at work and at his school. But, if I knew then what I know now, he might have started talking earlier. The question I eventually asked myself was: What reason did he have to communicate with me? Was I just the ‘tool’ he used to get what he wanted?

I decided it was time for a different approach. I stopped searching for words and started focusing on encouraging sounds. “Oh,” “Eee,” “Argh”—they all counted. And yes, these sounds were often elicited using food. When we meet, remind me to tell you about what I did with the squirty cream!

Then, one day, just before his eighth birthday, he said the immortal words every parent longs to hear from their young child… “Coco Pops!”

The silver lining

Today, my son is a very chatty adult who loves to talk—and, yes, snack! The journey through speech development doesn’t follow a strict timeline. It may not happen at all, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun trying new and innovative ways of vocalizing and communicating.

I still remember that moment when he first spoke, but I wish I had kept track of the exact day. Now, whenever I catch a glimpse of Coco Pops on the supermarket shelf, I think to myself: My goodness, some people have no idea what life is like for an autism parent.